6 Reasons to Say Yes to Yourself Through Retreat

Say YES!

6 Reasons to Say Yes to Yourself Through a Retreat!

Refresh, Renew, Retreat!


I was 16 years old when I attended my first retreat.  My older siblings had done a similar retreat at my age, and they had returned in one piece and were somehow nicer and more relaxed after their weekends, so I figured I would give it a try and I said, “Yes!” “Yes” to travelling a few hours away from home for a weekend to spend with a group of people I had never met.  “Yes” to not knowing what was going to happen on that weekend!  “Yes” to answer the call deep inside that was urging me to go, get away, and take the chance!  I will be forever grateful for having the courage to listen to myself that day and say “yes”, as it turned out to be one of the most transformative weekends of my life!  It was the beginning of me learning to say “yes” to myself.  And it was the beginning of my love affair with retreats! [Read more…]

Kindness and Self Love this Valentine’s Day!

“The secret of attraction is to love yourself.  Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others.  They are open to gestures of love.  They think about love, and express their love in every action.  They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.”

~ Deepak Chopra

Valentine’s Day, Singles Awareness Day — whatever you like to call it, February 14 is almost upon us. A day of love and frustration, of proposals and breakups!  Whether you love the day or are dreading the day, I think we can all agree that love makes the world go round!

Unfortunately, statistics show the majority of marriages in the US fail.  As psychologist Ty Tashiro points out in his book The Science of Happily Ever After, only three in ten people  have healthy  happy marriages. 

So, if we are single or divorced, how do we jump back into the fire that has left us hurt and bitter?   If we are in a relationship or marriage, how do we KEEP this love alive and become part of the thriving and happy 30%? And with the Day of Love looming just around the corner, what can we do make 2015 the year we finally bring more love into our life?

According to Dr. John Gottman one of the leading experts on marriage and relationships and the author of “What makes Love Last”, one of the key indicators of a successful and lasting relationship is Kindness and Generosity! During his “Love Lab” study in 1990, Dr. Gottman made a fascinating discovery that relationships thrived in an atmosphere where partners were receptive to the “Bids” of attention when requested from their partners. The simple act of kindness, which can be as simple as paying attention, listening, and acknowledging the presence of each other, was enough to keep a marriage together!

Simple kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated.   Simple kindness directed inward in Self-Love! It creates an upward spiral of good feelings. Kindness leads to feeling safe.  Safety leads to openness and intimacy, which leads to trust and passion.  The more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the safer they will feel to share their true selves, in turn building trust, intimacy and passion.   The more kind we are to ourselves, the better outcomes we will have in all areas of our life!

Here are a few ideas to bring more kindness and Self-love into your own relationships:

  1. Make a commitment to let go of blame, criticism, and contempt for yourself and others. There is nothing more damaging to a relationship (and our Spirit!) than finger pointing, and believing the lies told by your own “inner critic”. Do whatever forgiveness work necessary to let go of past baggage to open up space in your life and your heart for love! 
  2. Learn your own Love Language and that of your partner, and speak it every day! Is your Love language physical touch? Book yourself a massage, or give a 30 second hug! If your love language is quality time, book a romantic dinner for 2, or spend time with a friend. Single? Giving these gestures of love to yourself is just as important!

      3.  Pay attention! — to your partner, your kids, yourself, and your needs. In our hi-tech, over stressed world we forget how simple and powerful it can be to give someone the easiest kindness of all: our presence and attention! 

Long and happy relationships lead to better health and a longer life! Lasting Love rarely, just “happens”. It is the result of time, attention and personal growth! Fortunately, there are experts who are ready to light the way to successful and happy partnerships! If you are struggling, ask for help. Reach out to a relationship expert so you can fall back in love with YOURSELF, attract and keep the Ultimate Love of your Life!

Holiday Survival Guide for the Single and Searching.

The holidays can be one of the worst times when you are single.  I know it was for me!  Everyone had family and places to go, and right after my divorce, I had to figure out new traditions to take the place of our old ones.  Now I was splitting Christmas day and Christmas Eve with my kids, and there was a whole part of the holiday that I now found myself alone.  That had never happened before, and as much as I tried to pretend it was just like any other day, in my heart I felt a deep sadness and loss.


So what can we do to make the most of this Holiday season and prepare ourselves for love?  Here are tips to help you keep your love light shining brightly this holiday season:


  1. Allow the pain to be there!  Acknowledge it.  Listen to it.  Don’t try to push it away.  Give it a special time and place to exist! Nurture your feelings and turn this holiday into a sacred event. Take a warm bath to nurture yourself.  Have a cup of tea or egg nog with yourself and give your feelings space and time to be.


  1. Share Your Time and Talent! What you might do to cheer up someone else’s life that is less fortunate than yours? When my husband got divorced from his first wife, he started to volunteer as a Santa on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Instead of missing his son and feeling lonely, he put on a big red suit and delivered presents to the kids in the city that otherwise may not have had much of a Christmas!  Find a local charity that you can donate your time and talent to and watch how the sadness drifts away!


  1. Say a prayer for your future partner!  He is out there right now, probably spending this Holiday very much like you are — alone and waiting for you! Take some time to visualize what you want next Christmas to look like, with your Spiritual Partner, the Love of Your Life right by your side.  How will you spend this holiday with your beloved?  Will you go anywhere special? What new traditions would you just love to create with him?  Allow yourself to FEEL how this will feel right now.  Put yourself in that future space and KNOW without a doubt that it WILL be yours next Holiday! 


The years we spend as single people can be special and sacred. You may never have another chance to do absolutely whatever you want on this holiday again. Take advantage of that and this time to be good to yourself!

Which Story are you Ready to Release?

Welcome to my Soul-Mate Seekers! This is my second soujourn into the world of blogging. After beating myself up for months that I really “should” start a blog, a simple request from a friend of mine on a FB thread finally prompted me to start writing. She asked that I share some wisdom that I learned at a recent Oprah Lifeclass that was held here in St. Louis. I was blessed to be in the audience, and here was my biggest take-away.

“What is your Story?” That was the big questions that co-host and Relationship Expert Iyanla VanZant was asking the audience. The story of our life is important. It has brought us to where we are today. Yet, we are very attached to our story. The more that we believe our stories to be our truth, the more it holds us back from the magnificence that is inside each one of us.

So, what is my story? One of the stories that I tell myself is “ I am not a writer.” “I am not a writer, so why would I write a blog?” “Would anyone really want to hear what I have to say?” While holding tightly to this story, I have only written one blog post and that was a year ago! So today, I toss away my old story and replace it with something new: “I choose to share my voice with the world in many ways, just one of those being a blog!”  That old limiting belief that kept me small, and I thought, “safe” is no longer needed. My new empowered truth has taken its place!

My real truth is this: My voice matters. I am a writer, as well as a coach, healer, leader and there are people in the world who will benefit by my sharing my voice in this way. How would it feel for you to know that was your truth as well? What would you do differently today if you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the world was ready and waiting for you to show up with your gifts? That lives would be changed for the better, simply because you shared something that you were born to share?

I challenge you today to uncover just one of your stories that is keeping you from living your most magnificent life! What is it? Perhaps it involves love and your worthiness to attract Big Love into your life. I know it may have felt like it kept you safe (and single) for a long time, but if you are thinking the thought and reading this now, you are ready for a new story! Write your old story down, and burn it up! Now recreate the NEW story that you choose to be true for you! We all have the power to create the thoughts that will bring us to where we want to be in life. Choose the new paradigm you would like to be true for you, and watch your life transform in ways you never thought possible.