With New Year’s Day still fresh in our minds, today’s the perfect time to think about a fresh start ourselves. One of the best bits of info I can pass along comes from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements and the best way to start is with Sénor Ruiz’s own words.
“You only exist because of the agreements you made with yourself
and with the other humans around you.”
~Don Miguel Ruiz
At the heart of all relationships is an agreement, whether spoken or not, between two people. Before making an agreement with someone else, I encourage you to first make agreements with yourself.
Don Miguel Ruiz explores this subject in his insightful book, “The Four Agreements”. The act of agreeing is powerful, and when honored can alter every relationship you have. We will look at each one of the four agreements in depth over the next few weeks, but here is the overview:
The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with your word.
- When in conversation with others, say what you mean and mean what you say.
When in personal reflection, choose only kind and compassionate thoughts toward yourself.
The Second Agreement: Don’t take anything personally.
- How people behave and what they say has NOTHING to do with you.
- Their thoughts and stories, derived from their own experiences, are spinning in their heads creating their reality.
The 3rd Agreement: Don’t make assumptions.
- No one has the gift of reading someone’s mind or feeling the emotions caused by what they are going through.
- The best option is to be curious and ASK what they are feeling.
The 4th Agreement: Always Do your Best.
- This is not about being perfect; it’s about doing your personal best each day–your best effort, best foot forward and willingness to try.
- You may feel amazing and powerful some days and on others barely manage to take care of yourself. Let this be okay.
When we practice and internalize The Four Agreements, honoring and applying them ourselves, every relationship just seems to go smoother with more joy and happiness! Oprah has said “when we know better, we do better”. Let that be our goal as we dive deeper into each of these agreements going forward in the next blog.