Holiday Survival Guide for the Single and Searching.

The holidays can be one of the worst times when you are single.  I know it was for me!  Everyone had family and places to go, and right after my divorce, I had to figure out new traditions to take the place of our old ones.  Now I was splitting Christmas day and Christmas Eve with my kids, and there was a whole part of the holiday that I now found myself alone.  That had never happened before, and as much as I tried to pretend it was just like any other day, in my heart I felt a deep sadness and loss.


So what can we do to make the most of this Holiday season and prepare ourselves for love?  Here are tips to help you keep your love light shining brightly this holiday season:


  1. Allow the pain to be there!  Acknowledge it.  Listen to it.  Don’t try to push it away.  Give it a special time and place to exist! Nurture your feelings and turn this holiday into a sacred event. Take a warm bath to nurture yourself.  Have a cup of tea or egg nog with yourself and give your feelings space and time to be.


  1. Share Your Time and Talent! What you might do to cheer up someone else’s life that is less fortunate than yours? When my husband got divorced from his first wife, he started to volunteer as a Santa on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Instead of missing his son and feeling lonely, he put on a big red suit and delivered presents to the kids in the city that otherwise may not have had much of a Christmas!  Find a local charity that you can donate your time and talent to and watch how the sadness drifts away!


  1. Say a prayer for your future partner!  He is out there right now, probably spending this Holiday very much like you are — alone and waiting for you! Take some time to visualize what you want next Christmas to look like, with your Spiritual Partner, the Love of Your Life right by your side.  How will you spend this holiday with your beloved?  Will you go anywhere special? What new traditions would you just love to create with him?  Allow yourself to FEEL how this will feel right now.  Put yourself in that future space and KNOW without a doubt that it WILL be yours next Holiday! 


The years we spend as single people can be special and sacred. You may never have another chance to do absolutely whatever you want on this holiday again. Take advantage of that and this time to be good to yourself!